Thinking

In one of the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency books, Mma Ramostwe ponders on how good it is that school teachers are paid by the government to think and grow wise during the summer. As an academic, I think I should be paid to think. In reality, it seems that I am paid to be busy rather than to think, to produce lots of papers and funding rather than insight or understanding. The other day I was working on a framework which emerged from months of analysis and I was deeply engrossed init when I had to go to teach a class. I mentioned my frustration about this to one of the maths lecturers I met in the photocopier room, and she sympathised. She said she was sometimes able to work on research problems while lecturing. Wow – how on earth? She also said that she often thinks about her research when she is driving to the supermarket and then does the calculations in the car park. She suspected her kids thought she was a zombie when they were young because she would space out at bath time while chewing over a problem. I admit I have discussed the finer points of statistical methodology with Mr Bitey while taking him for a walk in his pram. I have scribbled diagrams on the bus to the accompaniment of students’ headphone pollution. I have bored my poor husband witless by describing my latest thoughts over dinner. Why isn’t there time to do this in the office? I hereby resolve to make time. An advantage of returning from maternity leave part time for now is that I have accepted that I don’t have time to do everything. So I don’t feel guilty about not getting everything on and I focus on the work which matters. Which is research at the moment, given the menacing emails we get about it from on high. So teaching will have to take a back burner although I will probably continue to attend classes. For now…