You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna build me a robot to seek out students and bring them to classes.
Here's how. It will sit in the corner of the class and do face recognition on the students present, matching their faces to the photos in the module list. It will get the addresses of those absent from the student record system and use Google maps to go round to their homes and tell their mothers. It might need some help with this bit, but I figure a parrot AR drone navigated from my IPhone would solve this. It will also alert its creepy robot pals attached as web cams to the LCD screens throughout the department so it can pursue those actually on campus.
Having found the perps, it will employ a firm yet gentle regime of mild electric shocks to guide them to campus and into the class for the right time. In fact, maybe I need an army of them, one for each absentee. It would be their personal nemesis, assigned to torment them into turning up with their homework complete. My current favourite form of torment would be to generate infrasound (sound too low to hear) which makes people feel profoundly uneasy. Haunted, in fact.
I estimate that all this effort on developing my robot army would be worth it in the long run. Save me time on sending nagging emails after every frickin' class.
We are the student seeking robot army. Expect us.